30 Ways To Know

The other day my friend and I were talking about her relationship with her boyfriend and we were talking about how dating and courtship and marriage is all so crazy and how we actually get to that point is a miracle. It prompted me to go home and write down all the things that lead me to believe that TJ was the one for me and I think is a good indicator for others deciding if that certain someone is the one. I really think I'm gonna write a book one day about all this because no one really prepares you enough. Granted everyones story is theirs which is probably why I got so much advice but still felt like a lot of it did and didn't apply to me and TJ. 

But here is my two cents, or rather long list on 30 ways of figuring out it he is your man. 

(not in any order)

1. You should never want to not live without him. 
2. It's okay to still want and need me time.
3. You should feel like you want to tell him everything or at least be comfortable with telling him everything. (I find that I will start to tell TJ something only to have him say "you told me that" and me being surprised that I actually told him that. I then try really hard to find something that I haven't told him yet.
4. You should feel incredibly comfortable with him in every way possible. 
5. In my opinion, a best friend, lover and husband are all different things but put together make him your guy. 
6. It doesn't matter if he has it all right now- the most important things is if he is willing to sacrifice, change, make adjustments and be open minded. 
7. Love not only happens, but it grows. I don't think we completely understand love when we are dating or even getting married. 
8. You miss him like crazy when he's gone. 
9. You can look into your future and not only see him there but it doesn't scare you. 
10. You feel safe, comfortable and good with him.
11. You ask people who know him, about him and listen to what kind of person they describe.
12. You are the one marrying him and not anyone else. Therefore, it really only matters what you think of him.
13. Go to the temple with him and see how you feel. 
14. Today you may feel differently about him that you did yesterday and tomorrow you may feel even more differently than today. It's how you feel the majority of the time that truly matters. Life is going to be up and down.
15. Relive the moments you "fell in love."
16. Remember that you have hormones and fears that can throw you off. 
17. Does he like to and know how to serve?
18. Is he polite and helpful?
19. What is he like around his family and yours?
20. Understand that it will take time for him and you to become comfortable and normal around your family. 
21. Live every moment with him. Let him share in the stressful, happy, sad, whatever moments. You both need to see each other in real life and how you react to certain things. TJ and my relationship was kinda built off a stressful situation and I liked how he was there for me, what he said and he got to see me in a stressful situation. Guess we both passed the test. 
22. Be you and let him be him but know that there is compromise and change in any good relationship. 
23. Do you like kissing him? Does he turn you on? We had a stake president member tell us that couples wont make it in the world today if they aren't sexually charged by the other person.
24. Does he want the same things in life as you do?
25. Do you believe him?
26. Does he do nice things?
27. You must communicate! There is no way he is going to know what you like and don't like, what you need and don't need. He is not a mind reader. Clue him in! 
28. When you have arguments and disagreements, do you still love him and want to be around him? This was a big indicator for me. The night I figured out that I truly loved him, we had just had a disagreement where I didn't talk to him all day. By the end of it, I was so tired and exhausted from not talking to him that I decided that I never wanted to be mad a him again and that I loved him. He also learned not to piss me off too much. 
29. Do you have fun together?
30. Remember life is a journey and adventure. Enjoy it with him and if he's the one, it will all work out.