The things we go through



I have written and rewritten this so many times wondering how and why this should all be expressed. A few months ago, I had a miscarriage. A month after the hardest week of my life I kept getting little feelings and promptings that I needed to share this. Random things here and there: Having a close friend talk to me about speaking truth and experiences, turning on the radio where a morning show was talking about organizations that help support women through miscarriages and stillborns, a family friend telling my mom that people really don’t talk about miscarriages enough and getting the clearest thought come to my head from heaven that said “I give you these experiences so that you can relate and help others along the path.” So this is my story and my experience.

I was about 8 weeks along. It was long enough to know that we were expecting but not far along enough to start sharing the news. Which made the loss that much harder. Here we were with this exciting news that we had been waiting for and waiting for a while for it (cause it’s wasn’t like we got pregnant on the first try or many mant many times after that) yet we didn’t want to share our news with anyone quite yet. And that was hard. It was so hard not telling my mom or sister. We were holding on to this gift and then to lose it without having anyone know was so painful. We were alone in the excitement our news together and we were alone in our pain of our loss together.

And I think that’s what made it so difficult. Was that for some reason I felt like I had to hide my pain. That I, Natalie, had a miscarriage. That there was something wrong with my body and I couldn’t hold this fetus. There’s this unspoken understanding in our society that miscarriages are to be kept quite. Almost like it’s suppose to be swept under the rug. Yet in a way it’s like losing someone you love to a degree. There’s so much pain and loss involved. So much build up and then a great fall. Especially for those like us who have been waiting. However, I wasn’t also someone who was just going to come out and say “Oh, I’m suffering from a miscarriage” when someone asked how I’ve been doing or what’s been going on. So it’s hard to know the balance.

The heartbreak and pain was excruciating -. physically and emotionally. I had only know about this for 4 weeks, yet I felt broken.  To all out there that lose children when they are farther along, I hurt for you and have a very slight understanding of what that must be like and I pray for you. Blessed are you.   

As I was suffering in my pain- I thought of everything. “What’s wrong with me?” “Why couldn’t I keep this fetus alive?” “What did I do wrong?” “Why is this so painful?” etc. I finally shared what I was going through with my mom. In our conversation she said “I had a miscarriage before your brother. It’s just a way of your body warming up and in reality, your body is saying, “opps… that one didn’t go exactly right. Let’s try that again.” When she shared that, it brought me so much peace knowing that I wasn’t alone. My own mother knew what I was going through.

I then got a little more brave and told some very close women in my life what had happened one night. And as I stood there in these incredible women whom I looked up to so much, each one of them could say I lost one or I had 5 miscarriages or I wept for months after I lost mine, I felt my pain lessen. It was as if they took some of that pain and held it for me because they knew exactly how I was feeling. Again, it hit me. I am not alone. This is why we go through certain experiences in life. So that we can relate to one another and cry with and hold pain for those around us. We are not alone in our trials nor should we be. Not only do we have our Savior but we also have each other. As Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” or Mosiah 18:9, “Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”


I guess why I’m writing this and sharing it is not to get sympathy or pity. Life is life and I understand that. But rather for the one or many who are going through this or who have or will go through a miscarriage. I will hold while you cry and cry with you because it still hurts for me and I don’t know if it will ever not hurt. And I guess to open this dialogue more. So that we don’t have feel like we go through this alone or that someone else has been where I have been and vise versa. So just know that you are not alone. Know that God and life have their own timing and that one day we’ll be able to see why certain things happen.. Know that life continues on. That moments like these only make you and I stronger and relatable. And that one day, a great gift will come and how much more thankful we will be.    
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I Love Feet!


I have always been into health and wellness. It was probably because I was raised by a mother who grew up on a farm and liked to know where her meat came from, who never loved blue dye and who put heated onions on our ears when we had an ear ache. But nonetheless, over the course of my life, I have come to appreciate my body, health and wellness. I have come to understand again and again that our bodies are amazing and really capable of doing so much. I have always believed that we don't give our bodies the credit they deserve. After I did Whole30, I realized not only how important taking care of our physical well being is, but also our emotional and spiritual bodies.

For those of you who don't know, about a year and a half ago, I got certified in Reflexology. I became a certified Foot Zone Practitioner. What is a foot zone you ask? To borrow the explanation from my school Wellness Life Zone:

"Within each of us is an innate blueprint of wholeness. This blueprint knows “self” in our perfect essence, which is what we call the normal line of health or the ability to thrive.
Every part of us, from the body, right to our atoms and the electromagnetic field, has the formula to this blueprint. Inherent signals in the feet map out this system and we treat the feet as a keyboard, triggering the entire map of the body right to the cellular level. There isn’t a cell in the body more than seven years old. Once the signal is triggered through a therapeutic Foot zone, the blue print of health is awakened and knows exactly what to do. If a cell has the ability to be repaired, then the formula of the blue print will correct and heal it. If the cell is damaged beyond repair, then the formula of the blue print will slough the cell, making room for a new and healthy one. 
We are beings of energy and frequency held inside trillions of atoms. Atoms form together to become specialized cells. And specific cells form into organs and glands. Together several organs form specific systems such as the immune system. All systems communicate and work together through meridians in the body to maintain the blueprint of “self” and thriving health. 
The practice of a therapeutic Foot Zone is a powerful, yet non-invasive, and simple technique that quickly empowers the blue print of the body to recover something as small as a single cell, to something as large as a system in the body, bringing mental, emotional, and physical energies back to optimum health."
We are so amazing! When I was first introduced to foot zoning, I was immediately drawn to it. I knew that this is what I wanted to learn and to study. My favorite course in college was anatomy and if I could have had it my way, I would have been a doctor- but unfortunately, I'm just to squeamish... So this was perfect!

However, foot zoning is something that is not well known in the world, although it is gaining tracking and speed because of people's desire to heal their bodies and get back in the driver seat of their health. I feel very blessed to have found this and want to share it with everyone! We are capable of understanding our bodies, whether that be emotional, spiritual or physical. Our bodies are smart, they know what we need and if we listen- they will talk to us.

If you are interested in learning more or getting a zone, I would love to introduce you to this modality I have fallen in love with! Let me know and we can set up an appointment to zone your feet.
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Christmas with the Kirtons


We spent the holidays at the Kirtons in Utah. It was my first white christmas!

TJ's family still has younger kids so Christmas morning we got an early wake up call and Christmas was over within seconds. It was fun to see the Christmas magic again! And mine certainly was as Santa got me all sorts of gifts that I was not expecting.

It was fun to experience a different Christmas with different traditions, especially ones that involve so much family. It made me excited to create our own family traditions some day.








TJ's mom made our stockings. So cute!





Waking up to this was magical! Especially when we went to sleep with no snow on the ground! 

TJ's wonderful wrap job...haha




Merry Christmas! 
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WHOLE30

This past month I have been on Whole30.


Quoting Whole30's website,

the Whole30® is our original nutritional program designed to change your life in 30 days. Think of it as a short-term nutritional reset, designed to help you put an end to unhealthy cravings and habits, restore a healthy metabolism, heal your digestive tract, and balance your immune system."



During the 30 days, which I started at the beginning of January, I was only allowed to eat fruits, veggies, eggs and meats. That means no dairy, no gluten, no sugar, no corn, no grains, no nottun! Or at least thats what it felt like. Now if you know me, you know that my staples included popcorn, chips and salsa and cereal, chocolate- as well as any type of Mexican and pizza- so good by all of those!

Now why did I do this? Back in 2011 my digestive tract decided to rebel and reject anything and everything. Ever since then I have had stomachaches, cramps, bloating, many trips to the bathroom, nausea and everything else that comes with stomach problems. Now I could have been a good girl and stopped eating the foods that made my stomach hurt but I suffered. That is until I finally decided I needed to do something about it. Stomach, this was for you!

So my friend told me about Whole30 and I took the challenge. Let me just say this took a lot of mental and physical preparation! Luckily I was coming off the holidays and was ready to stop eating all the goodies and over eating that comes with holidays. 

Things I learned from this experience:
  1. My stomach never hurt the entire time! I can tell you TJ was grateful not having to hear me complain anymore about my tummy hurting all the time! But boy! I was eating all the wrong things. 
  2. I was not very good at meal preparation before. Still not- but at least I have a few more recipes under my belt.
  3. SUGAR! Everything has sugar in it! Try reading the labels of foods- you will find that everything has some sort of "not very good" sugar. 
  4. Activities involving food get very minimized. Granted- more and more places are catering to food issues so it was possible to go out and just ask to have special orders. I was just not that desperate to go out. 
  5.  I have self-control! The first few weeks (pretty much the first 3) it was so sad to have to turn down things that I loved so much. But by the end, somethings didn't even appeal to me anymore. So when TJ has his 10:30 snack at night. I can happily sip on my water and be ok :)
I've included some pictures of things I made during the month.  I was pretty proud of myself.

Everything I bought which actually lasted me a really long time! (Ignore the mess)








Overall, it was a great experience! I have never felt better but boy get me some Mexican!!!
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